Outdated why dating is ruining your love life

Mukhopadhyay could have written about how, in California at least, for purposes of real estate titles, someone not yet married is "single," but someone divorced is forever after "unmarried." At least for Californians, "unmarried" could have a bit of stigma which "single" does not have.

The statistic that Mukhopadhyay uses to support the assertion that 45% of the adult population is unmarried, uses "over 18" to mean adult.

She writes that John Gray's book, "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus," is "(out)dated now." Why? She says Gray "gave us a new and particularly harmful vocabulary for expressing gender difference in relationships." What was the vocabulary? Mukhopadhyay's advocacy of gay rights and marriage, and how gays also suffer from society's expectation that everyone go toward a heterosexual marriage, are points worth making, but they are points that she makes over and over and over to the extent that the drumbeat of repetition is a distraction in the book.

She says, "These incidents suggest that mandatory heterosexuality is a socially constructed myth." Really?

Wasn't it already obvious that many people are not heterosexual and/or not monogamous, before Bill got stupid with Monica?

An interesting perspective is in the 6/11/11 NYT piece, "When It Comes to Scandal, Girls Won't Be Boys."Mukhopadhyay spends a paragraph describing Tim Wise's essay, "This is Your Nation on White Privilege (Updated)," on how the media's treatment of Sarah Palin shows our culture of white privilege, but Mukhopadhyay misses the best parts of the essay. Mukhopadhyay does a fair job of talking about societal expectations of gender roles, and how "even in today's society, people are not considered 'adult' until they're married."In the course of describing the expectation that the man will pay for the costs of dates and eventually be the provider of the relationship, Mukhopadhyay states one of her most repeated, tiresome and stereotypical phrasings: "Women are expected to want a man with money.... Money guarantees an all-access pass to the vagina park." There are lots of women who make at least pro forma offers to share the dating cost, at least as dating continues.

And there are lots of women who don't automatically "put out" because the man bought dinner.

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