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Another problem rises when the families decide to force their children to marry in a traditional way while these boys and girls have their own relationships and want to get marry in a different way with different person. In the ‘Patakhti’ ceremony usually the couple just invites the close people like close friends, brothers, sisters, their families, etc.Anyway, Once the children in these families want/forced to get married either in a traditional or modern way, they will still have ‘Khastegari’ and ‘Namzadi’ and these two customs are done usually in a way similar to the traditional families rather than modern families. After that the couple falls in love and decides to get married, they should celebrate their marriage ceremony. In this ceremony the guests should give their gifts to the couple which usually are really worth a fortune.‘Khastegari’ is a custom in which families of both girl and boy come to meet each other for the first time with or without knowing each other before and this time could be the first time the the boy and the girl meet each other.In this meeting, families as well as the boy and the girl talk to each for about 4-5 hours to get to know each other.Also, another custom that families talk about in ‘khastegari’ called as ‘Mehrieh’. After this meeting, if the families especially the boy and girl want to know each other more, a period starts we called ‘Namzadi’.‘Mehrieh’ is an amount of money, usually a big money more than 0000 that if the couple divorced, the guy should give to his wife. In this period, the couple is officially in the relationship and try to know more each other.
In the other words, all men go to one place and at the same night all women go to another place and men and women celebrate the marriage ceremony separately, But for the modern families these customs are normal and all people go to one place to celebrate the marriage ceremony.
It should be mentioned that most of the Iranians do fit in one these categories, however, there are many other families who were traditional but are moving toward being considered as a modern families.
This situation mostly occurs when parents have traditional thoughts but the children do not want to follow what they parents tell.
) it would be interesting for the students as well as my teacher with dissimilar background to know that how Iranians start dating, falling in love, and getting married. The way people start dating in Iran is highly dependent on the family they were born.
Generally, we have two extreme categories for Iranian families.